Obvi-ACE-ly

If you've read any number of young adult books, it comes as no surprise to find that there is often some kind of romantic plot/subplot within the text. Since I write YA books, there is some expectation of that in my stories as well. I plan to have (at least) one in my current project. I have my main character, A, and she is eventually going to wind up with boy Z.

Already I've got several little scenes of them falling for each other, but the more I thought about them riding off together at the end of the series, the more my gut was telling me something was off. I didn't question if they would remain together (they definitely will), but I couldn't see what their lives would be like at all.

I'm not one of those authors who knows the entire future of my characters post-book. I don't really feel a need to know, but I do need whatever conclusion I give them in the book to feel right, to feel true. When I started digging through my own brain, I realized the problem I was having with A and Z wasn't what was missing after the action of the books, but what was missing within the books.

I've never pictured A and Z kissing.

When I figured that out, other things became clear to me. They prefer to be touching if they can be, and hugging is their favorite. The love to laugh and banter, they help each other through trauma and pain, and by the end of the series they are deeply in love.

So why no kissing?

And then it was like a lightening bolt struck me on the head: A and Z are asexual. Everything fell into place when I used this word to describe them.

In case you don't know, I am gray-sexual or gray-ace, which is under the umbrella of asexuality. (If you want more detailed info on what all of that means, click HERE.) But it had never, not once, occurred to me that my main character and her final love interest could possibly be ace. I'd considered it with other characters, but not them.

I had been taking the sexuality (implied or explicit) found in the majority of YA love stories and applying it to A and Z, expecting them to fall in line. But why should they?

It seems like such an easy and obvious conclusion to come to, considering I'm ace myself, but it took me a while. I'm glad my characters, or my inner ace, put up enough fuss to show me where I was going wrong with A and Z's love story.

Hopefully I'll get to share them, in all their ace glory, with you eventually.

For more information on asexuality, please visit

The Asexual Visibility and Education Network. 

In the Shadow of Doubt

 

I don't know anyone who isn't touched by the political and social turmoil going on in the country right now. For me, the disappointment and anger at the election, the subsequent awful things happening within our government, and the continual worry that marginalized people are not going to be protected have weighed heavy in my mind for months.

I've tried to be proactive about my worry: protesting, making calls and writing letters to my representatives, joining organizations that help marginalized people, donating when I can, being present at events to show support to people who need it.

The work of pushing back at all the bad I see is not that exhausting because being with other people who are also working to those ends is encouraging and invigorating (being an ambivert does have its advantages). But the worry, the mental strain, and the necessary constant vigilance is like air drying out clay, making me brittle and crumbly all around (shout out to Mad Eye Moody - no wonder he was a little cracked). All of this is in addition to my personal life, which has seen its fair share of extra stress lately. I already deal with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression, and the combined strain of everything near and far is making it difficult to keep it (me) together.

So how in the world am I supposed to write? This is a question I've seen many writers struggling with. And like many, I am in a valley, not on a mountaintop, when it comes to my relationship with writing. Which leads me to a scarier question:

Am I cut out to be a writer at all?

This valley that I mentioned, I feel like I've been in it for a while. If you name a method of writing, of ways to get words on the page, I've tried it. Nothing, literally not one of them, has stuck. Even in days of less stress and worry, I'm terrible about actually doing the work. Maybe it's just that my life and my brain are too scattered and messy for anything resembling discipline, plans, and good habits.

Or maybe...maybe I just can't hack it.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be a writer.

And that, my friends, is a terrible thought. If I'm not supposed to be a writer, why do I have stories and characters and scenes filling my brain when they get a chance? I may not have a great process that helps me fill blank pages, but planning what I'm going to write and creating characters and settings and plot lines is something I do all the time.

So I don't think I could ever stop being a writer, even if I tried to quit. Knowing that is nice, but it doesn't help me with my main problem: the physical act of writing, specifically, finishing a novel. It is quite possible that I'm not cut out to write novels. It is a lot, a lot, a lot of work, and as I said before, my life and brain are not wired to do anything that requires good habits and personal discipline. But I still love doing it, even if I'm not great at getting it done.

When I dug deeper, I realized I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to conform to this idea that I have of what being a writer is, and that by not living up to that imagined standard, I've opened up this floodgate of guilt and doubt. I've structured my life in such a way that the things that I believe need doing, for both the wider world and the people in my life, should take the top priority, not writing.

But if writing isn't my most important thing, does that mean it is just my hobby? Does that mean I don't take it seriously enough? Does that mean that because I don't treat writing like a job, I won't ever "make it" (whatever that means to me)?

These questions bothered me until I removed the self-imposed pressure. And once removed, the answer I discovered was: Who cares! So what if my writing looks like just a hobby on the outside; I know I take it seriously, even if I can't devote as much time to it as I wish I could. I also know that I'd rather my novel take me way longer to complete than to give it up all together.

So I've decided to stop pressuring myself to be the kind of writer that I am not and to stop feeling guilty when things aren't happening as quickly as I would like them to. I know what kind of outcome I would like to see when I finish my novel, and I've set goals for myself, but I have also made peace with the fact that this valley may be all I experience for a while.

I've decided to enjoy the journey instead of fretting about when it will end. I will do what I set out to accomplish, even if it takes longer than my doubt tells me it should.

Doubting myself is okay, but I won't allow my doubts to tell me who or what I am.

I am a writer, one thought, one word, at a time.

Of Fever and Dreams

There's been a lot of talk in my neck of the woods about babies. Of my best friends, one has an 18-month-old, one has a six year old and one-year-old twins, and another is seriously contemplating starting a family sooner rather than later. I've even done some babysitting and spent more time lately with tiny humans than ever in my life.

And I'll admit it - I've had some Baby Fever over the past months (and it wasn't just me; The Hubs got a fair dose of it too).

But then I found out that one of my blogger buddies cleared that first big publishing hurdle - she got an agent. As I was reading her blog post about the experience (which you can find HERE), a feeling came over me that I didn't expect.

I didn't want a baby. I wanted a book - a book with my name on it.

In fact, I want a book way more than I ever thought I wanted a baby.

That may make me sound like a horrible person, but it's the truth. I'm not ruling kids out, I just want to become an author more than I want to become a parent. There are a multitude of factors that went in to me even contracting Baby Fever, but they are a little mired and weighty, so suffice it to say that in these past months when my depression got so bad, I lost myself a little and was looking for things that might help bring me some hope for the future. But being a mother was never a dream of mine. An eventuality maybe, but not a dream.

Being an author is my dream.

Since the Baby Fever has broken (and my depression is well in-hand thanks to the new meds), I feel the certainty of that dream. Not the certainty that it will happen in the way I wish it (because I have no control over that), but the certainty that I want it to happen and will do what is in my power to make it happen.

And now, without looking for it, I find that I have hope to spare.

Write Stuff [28] - Doubt and Perseverance

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


In my last Write Stuff post, I talked about how my depression had affected my writing. I knew I wasn't going to make my deadline, so I said I'd set a new one and try again. That deadline is nine days away, and I'm not any closer than I was last time. My depression wasn't as big an issue this time, but life stuff definitely got in the way and I barely wrote at all.

For the first time since deciding to get serious about being a novelist, I actually considered giving up. I had those thoughts of maybe I just can't do it and maybe writing a novel just isn't for me. I like writing, but my process is so draining and slow, and I was definitely down about it. When I did sit down to write the other day, I decided again that something was off and started over, making that Draft 5. While it did feel like I was going in a better direction, I haven't been able to return to it.

It occurred to me that perhaps I don't want it badly enough. I know there are writers who devote every spare minute to writing, despite jobs, kids, whatever. I don't, at least, not anymore. Life got tough, and tougher, and only now am I feeling like things are leveling out a bit. Still, because of my depression and life in general, I'm exhausted most days to the point vegging or sleeping is all I feel I can do. That's not including the days I feel tired but still have to make dinner and do laundry and etc. But if I truly wanted it, I would make time for it no matter how I felt, right?
 
Probably. I know there were times I could have written, where I didn't feel too bad or too tired, but I chose to do something else. Usually I chose something else because writing is hard and I was either scared of trying or lazy. But despite not expecting life to get any easier in the near future, I don't want to give up. I don't know what it would be like to say I'm no longer trying to write a novel, but I don't want to know. Not yet anyway.

So I'm going to keep working. It may take forever (I don't feel like setting another deadline would do any good), but I'm at least going to finish this one novel. If I never write another one, fine, but at least I can say I saw it all the way through.

Have you ever felt like giving up? How did you find your motivation to continue?

Let me know in the comments! ^_^

Write Stuff [27] - Depression and Grief and Procrastination, oh my!

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


My self-imposed deadline on draft 4 of my current project is coming up next week. I'm not going to make it. I'll set myself a new deadline and try again. But why did I let this one come and go? There are a couple reasons, but the biggest is one I don't talk about very often here: my depression.

When I say depression, I mean an all encompassing darkness that suffocates my entire life. I went from feeling numb to feeling like my brain was overburdened with random thoughts and worry, and when that happened, I could do little more than stare at the television. When my anxiety became too much for me to even do that, I hid myself from the world in my bed. I lost interest in everything. I had thoughts of self-harm and emotional meltdowns. I decided to have my medication dosage doubled. It took a few weeks for it to kick in. I finally started to feel better.

Then Father's Day arrived. I wasn't prepared for the emotional turmoil that day would put me through. The turmoil continued until the anniversary of of my dad's death, vacillating between anger and tears and more numbness. Grief is an entirely different animal than depression, attacking different parts of me for different reasons, but experiencing them together for an extended period of time was harrowing. Then the evening of the anniversary, July 4th, I sat down at my computer and wrote 12 pages. It was like my entire being had been dreading the day, and then when I had survived it, my brain gained some freedom.
 
I've been working on my draft since then, which has only been about 20 days. So, yeah, I'm not going to make my deadline, but in the last three weeks I've written 28 pages. That's something at least. I'm going to take my victories where I can get them. I still have to deal with my depression and grief when it flares up, but I'm out of the darkest part of the woods for now. I still don't feel great, but right now my biggest obstacle is choosing writing over procrastination (and yes, this post could be considered procrastination).

I like ending these with a little snippet of my project, so since this post is kind of bittersweet, I decided to share the end of my first chapter because it has the same tone. My main character, Lotte, is arranging things in her new room.

How do you deal with your emotions when they get in the way of your creativity? Have you had any recent victories?

Let me know in the comments! ^_^

Write Stuff [26] - Trashed

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


I did something a couple days ago that I have never done. I warned in my last Write Stuff post that the beginning of my novel was subject to change, and it did. I was reading over the 19 new pages I had written for my revision, all of them at the beginning. There were some good bits, but in those 19 pages, the story wasn't really moving. There was some back story, some moments between characters to show relationships, a bit of a glimpse at the magic in the world I was building.

But it wasn't working. The place where everything really starts is when my main character arrives at her latest boarding school. All the back story and her relationships with her family and the people she knows before arriving at this school are important, but they aren't exactly the focus of what she has to do. My character is struggling with how to be at this school, and for the first time, not get expelled on purpose. She has to be good, or what she wants she will never get. That is her motivation and her challenge. She is used to being the brat and making trouble, but now she can't. That is where the story really is.

So I cut those 19 pages. Moved every word of my revision to the trash. I was expecting to feel some dread that now I had to start over (again!), but it was such a weight off. I think I have known for a long time where my story should start, but I was afraid to get rid of all those words that felt important, even if they weren't as necessary as I thought. Now I have 5 pages done, and in my opinion, they are better. Not perfect, of course, but the story definitely feels like it is happening instead of coming up soon.

If you want, compare my old beginning with my new one. The old one had some info and some insight about my character, and this one does as well, just in a different way. This new opening also puts us right at the beginning of my character's journey instead of acting as a prelude to the action.

Have you had to delete a bunch of your novel?

How did you feel and do you think it helped? 

Let me know in the comments! ^_^

Write Stuff [25] - Ending and Beginning...Again

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


It was hard to believe, but I actually finished the third draft of my WIP by my deadline, which was the end of March. Part of that was due to the fact I reached the end of my story way before my target word count, which is fine, I just wasn't expecting to do that.

So now I have a new deadline for the same novel. My hope is to have my revision, the working title of which is now Unpredictable, done by the end of July. I'll be working through the first anniversary of my dad's death, so I don't know how that will impact things (badly, I'm guessing) but I'm still going to try.

And to celebrate the completion of one goal and the birth of a new one, I thought I'd share a snippet of the beginning of my novel (just to warn you, this novel has had about five different beginnings, so this is subject to change). Anyway, I hope you enjoy the tidbit and let me know what you are working on and how it is going in the comments!

Write Stuff [24]

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


After a nice break through most of December, I got back to working on my WIP (purple progress bar on the right). Since starting up again I've added about 5k words to it, but I can't seem to keep up my motivation.

Then recently I ran across The Writer's Dojo and their revamped NiNoWriMo (Ninja Novel Writing Month) and decided to sign up. My goal is to write at least 3k words a week. That won't get me to meeting my own personal deadline of the end of March, but hopefully it will get me in a better pattern so that I'll at least be closer. For more info on The Writer's Dojo and what all great things are going on over there (there are dojos for revising and querying too!) click on the graphic below.

Are you working on any writing projects? What goals have you set for yourself? Let me know in the comments! ^_^

Write Stuff [23]

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


Hello quirks! As you can see from that green NaNoWriMo status bar over on the right (and the banner) I met the 50k goal! YAY!

I was honestly doubting it there for a while but with a little hard work (and a lot of word padding) I made it. However, it was probably the hardest writing experience I have had thus far. Part of my problem was the timing, because along with November came illness, depression, and the continued stress of life and having to face Thanksgiving without my dad for the first time. None of that would have been easy of itself, but while trying to make time to write? I was pretty much a basket case.

But another issue I had was that this story, A Girl Like Thunder, was my first attempt at writing YA contemporary. Had I had a chance to outline it like I had originally planned, maybe it would not have been as rough. Still, I really really missed being able to just throw something crazy and magical in there to stir the pot and get things moving.

All issues aside, I finished it, it is done, and it will stay in the digital drawer until I can get up the courage to look at it again. I am trying to figure out if I want to take off of writing for the entire month of December or if I want to try to write on my first novel (the purple progress bar to the right) again. I think I might be able to do the latter now that I have had the chance to work on something else and get some separation from it being the novel I was working on when my dad passed. Either way, I am glad November is over and am looking forward to any and all writing adventures.

How did you do with NaNoWriMo? What are you working on now? Let me know in the comments! ^_^

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Excerpt #4

   

- Josie, Chapter 4

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Excerpt #3

  - Colten, Chapter 3

Write Stuff [22]

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


Oh quirks, what can I say? You see that green NaNoWriMo status bar over on the right? I'm BEHIND.

I've been feeling quite icky this past week (fighting an infection) and I don't know if it is the infection or something else (my depression tends to worsen as the cold weather hits and I am noticing an increased lack of caring about things I usually enjoy), but it is currently about 8:30pm and I feel like it is 2am. I went to bed at 7pm yesterday and slept until 6am, so...yeah. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Also, pizza=heartburn. *reaches for mint Tums*

BUT...I've got a local write-in tomorrow so I'm hoping getting out of the house for some dedicated writing time will help.

If you are doing NaNoWriMo, how's it going? Are you, NaNo participant or not, having any issues writing? Let me know in the comments!

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Excerpt #2

   

- Josie, Chapter 2

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Excerpt #1

  

- Colten, Chapter 1

What's Up in November!

Hey Quirks!

I wanted to give you guys and gals a heads up as to what I'll be posting in November.

There will be a few reviews, a From Where I'm Standing post, and any giveaway highlights I come across.

But because November is National Novel Writing Month, most posts will be focused on NaNoWriMo. Some will be progress updates and some will be excerpts of the fabulous (*cough*sarcasm*cough*) novel I'm writing.

If you are participating in NaNoWriMo, add me as a buddy (writerquirk)!

Have a happy November! ^_^

Write Stuff [21]

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.

I use this meme to talk about the ups and downs of writing, what I'm working on, and, in November, to chronicle my NaNoWriMo journey.


If you've been following along with my scattered postings, you will know what happened in July and might have noticed my Writing Progress bar to the right. It was for the novel I was working on and has been stuck at the same number for three months, the deadline I set for myself well behind us now.

The evidence doesn't lie; I haven't worked on my novel since my dad died. I won't be working on it again until January at the earliest. But just because my novel hasn't been going anywhere doesn't mean I haven't been writing.

After I got over the busyness and initial funk that comes from losing a loved one, I tried reading my novel (because I didn't feel like writing on it) and it is terrible, so that didn't help things. But then I decided that I had all of these ideas and I needed to get whatever was in my mind down so I could figure out what I would work on for NaNoWriMo this year.

After scribbling down random details for a handful of various story ideas, one kept grabbing at my heart and I would find myself thinking about it time and again. That story is what I picked to work on in November, and yet with the end of October approaching, I haven't gotten an outline done. I know what happens in the beginning, but what the plot is after that is anybody's guess. The thing I know for sure, though, is that the story is a straight up YA contemporary. Yes, me, the lover of all things supernatural, is going to attempt contemporary fiction.

I've also been dabbling in short stories, something I have never really done before. I've posted them over at Figment on my profile here. If you are a part of Figment, let me know so I can follow you. I love all the contests and giveaways they have and the short story contests helped me get back in the groove of writing.

So my lovely quirks, have you been working on anything new? Are you planning on doing NaNoWriMo? Let me know in the comments!

Authors from A to Z: W

Authors from A to Z is a posting challenge hosted by

Heather at Proud Book Nerd. The challenge is simple: each day for the month of June (except Sundays) share your favorite authors whose last name corresponds to the letter for that day.  
For more info, click the photo.

How I'm participating in the challenge:

This year I am going to try to highlight just one author each day that I am really taken with. If I can't come up with one, it may be a book, a song, or a surprise!

W = Writing (Plot and Structure)

I write. Pretty obvious, yes? Well, when I started out, and by started out I mean got serious about finishing a novel and possibly doing something with it, I was pretty clueless. One of my biggest issues was structure. My story ideas usually start with a character or an image and rarely is there a plot of any kind to be found and I didn't have the faintest idea what story structure really meant. I would write pages and pages, a scene here, a character sketch there, but never get any closer to my goal.

Then my friend Meg lent me a book called Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell. The book is part of the Write Great Fiction series and is all about exactly what the title says. Not only did this book help me figure out what I was lacking and what I needed to think about when crafting a novel, but it was also humorous and completely engaging, not dry or boring like I would expect a reference text to be. And if you want some added awesome, follow James Scott Bell on Twitter because he has lots of great insight to offer and does so often.

So if you are a writer and you struggle with plot or structure (or even if you don't), this is a great resource to pick up and learn from. And if something else is more worrisome for you, like dialogue or revision, there are more Write Great Fiction titles out there waiting to be help.

Write Stuff [20]

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.


I'm going to continue straying from the usual format and just give a brief update about where I am and what I'm working on.


In my last Write Stuff post (here) I talked about the issues I was having writing the second draft of my first novel. I eventually decided to stop working on that draft and focus on creating an outline for a new version. I gave myself the month of April to complete this outline. After working my butt off (I really wish this was a literal statement) I completed my outline two days before the May 1st deadline. Yay!

So now I have a complete outline made of roughly sixty-two scenes split into four acts. The entirety of it was sent to my writing pal and friend Meg (of Myth-illogical) for a quick review. I began writing what is my third draft of this novel on on the first day of May. I have given myself a four month window to complete this new draft so by the end of August, I should have a complete draft. My goal with this one is to have something worth revising and not have to go through another rewrite.

I chose my deadline so that I could have September as a buffer if I need it and the month of October to work on an outline for NaNoWriMo instead of going in mostly blind like the last two years. November, being National Novel Writing Month, will be just for that, and then in December I will take a writing break, because I'm going to need it. ^_^ Hopefully in January I will be able to begin revisions on my third draft. I will try to update my progress here every so often to let you know how its going. And that is where I am!

So my lovely quirks, where are you at in your process? Have any writing goals or deadlines that you are working toward? Let me know in the comments!

Write Stuff [19] - The Second Draft Slump

Write Stuff  is based on the Wannabe Writers meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it.


I'm going to stray from the usual format and just talk about what I'm dealing with right now, and that is the second draft slump.


I completed the first draft of my first novel in just over a month. The first 50k words were written during November for my first National Novel Writing Month, and the last 17k over the first week of December. That experience, though not exactly easy, was exhilarating. I had created an actual novel. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. And despite not being literary gold, true publishable novels are written in revision, right? I'd achieved a goal so I had no doubt that I could conquer my next task.

After completing that first draft, I took some time off from my story to get some distance. During that time I read a lot and studied the craft of writing and devoured the blogs of my favorite YA authors. I came to realize exactly what my first novel was lacking. I already knew it wasn't good (hello, I did have a character named Big Stinky Ugly Smelly Giant Doorkeeper Guy), but I could pinpoint how and why and so when I went back to it, I knew what things needed to change. A lot of this had to do with fleshing out the goals and motivations of my characters. I also, as a pantser, had problems with plot and structure. So instead of going to that next step of revision, I chose the do-over, the rewrite.

And that, my friends, is where I still am. I spent just over a month writing that first draft but have spent the last year rewriting the same story and am only about 65% finished. Granted, I did go to the Masters, plan a wedding, get married, go on a honeymoon, read several books, and participate in another NaNoWriMo during the past year, but I've been working on Draft #2 on and off the whole time.

I'm not trying to be hard on myself. I know what my issue is, and that issue was highlighted when I took an online plotting workshop last month. As a natural pantser, I don't have trouble writing. I have trouble finishing, getting to the end, making everything tie up and make sense. I could probably write novels twice the intended length if I let myself do so.

But not knowing what needs to happen in each scene or chapter has made my process far too lengthy. I'm not going by some industry standards as to how long it should take to write a novel; I just know, for me, if I truly hope to make a career out of this someday, I don't like how long it takes me to get a story written. Not just a story, but an actual needs-revision-not-a-complete-rewrite story. I long to revise as I know revision is something I'm good at (thanks to countless papers and speeches I've revised and edited for friends and family) as well as something I enjoy doing. But I need to have something worth revising.

Taking that plotting workshop really broke down the process of plotting for me, and now I know what I need to do before sitting down to write. I know how long scenes should be; I know where my plot points need to fall; I know how to flesh out my characters and build them up and tear them down. But this knowledge, at the stage I am in with my current draft, is burdensome.

I don't want to leave Draft #2 unfinished. It bothers me to think that I may. But what I think about most often these days is a new draft, one where I take the things I have learned about plotting and put them into practice. I knew several things that needed to change in my story before the workshop, but now I know the best way of using those changes and structuring my story so that when it is done, it will be something worth reading.

Am I wasting my time trying to finish a draft I already know will mostly be discarded? Or am I blinded by the shiny, new incarnation of my story that I see in my future? I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm just being overly sentimental about the idea of "completion" and actually hindering my own progress by continuing on something I know isn't working. At the same time, there may be merit in completing another draft, a lesson of experience, if you will.


There are some other things I know that come into play when trying to make this decision. The first is that Draft #2 is already too long. Since I'm writing a paranormal/urban fantasy YA, my goal word count is 75k. Right now, at 65% of the way through the story, I am only about 3k words away from that goal. If I keep writing, I may wind up with a 100k word draft when I finish. I do not want to write a 400 page novel. That is just not for me, at least not with this story.

The second thing I know is that when I was writing the original (horrible, laughable) draft, there was excitement in the unknown, in seeing things happen and appear out of nowhere. I feel no excitement working on Draft #2. For the most part, it has been tedious and fraught with indecision and uncertainty. I know now that is because I didn't have everything I needed before writing it (a.k.a. plot structure, character goals, etc.).

But when I think about the as-yet-nonexistent Draft #3, I can feel that long lost excitement at the edges of my mind. I don't know why exactly. Maybe it is because I plan on being more plot and less pants for Draft #3 and I've never written that way and I want to see what happens when I do. Maybe I'm just trying to give myself an excuse for quitting on Draft #2.

So my question is, my lovely quirks, what would you do if you were in my situation? Have you been where I am before? Any advice or suggestions? I haven't made up my mind yet what I'm going to do so anything you have to offer will be helpful!

Write Stuff [18]

Write Stuff  is a weekly meme based on the Wannabe Writer meme hosted by Sarah at Confessions of the Un-Published. This meme is what prompted me to start Writer Quirk, so I am thankful to Sarah for creating it and allowing ANYONE (even a quirkster like me) to join up. So go visit her site and the others who participate. Do it.



Where I am in the writing process:  I finally finished my 2011 NaNoWriMo draft! Woohoo! It ended up being 81k words, but I finished before my self-imposed deadline of March 1st, so yay for that. My next goal is to complete the rewrite of my 2010 NaNoWriMo project before May 1st.

My problem(s) today:  I'm currently part of an online plotting workshop that I'm learning a lot from, and it is making me want to start my third rewrite of my 2010 project before actually finishing the second one.

What made me happy today:  I'm happy that today is one of my days off and I get to be lazy and watch it snow! ^_^

Goal for tomorrow:  Work on my rewrite (or at least read some of it to remember where I was at).

How close are you to completing your writing goals?